Everybody who has a dog calls him “Rover” or “Boy”. I call mine “Sex”. He’s a great pal but he has caused me a great deal of embarrassment.
When I went
to city hall to renew his license, I told the clerk I’d like a license for Sex.
He said “I’d like one, too!”. Then I said, “But this is a dog.” He said he
didn’t care what she looked like. Then I
said “You don’t understand, I’ve had Sex since I was 9 years old.” He winked
and said “You must have been quite a kid.”
When I got
married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the motel clerk I wanted a room for my
wife and me and a special room for Sex.
He said, “You don’t need a special room. As long as you pay your bill we
don’t care what you do.” I said, “Look, you don’t seem to understand, Sex keeps
me awake at night.” The clerk said, “Funny – I have the same problem.
One day I
entered Sex n a contest, but before the competition began, the dog ran away.
Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there looking disappointed.
I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me I should have
sold my own tickets. “But you don’t understand”, I said, “I had hoped to have
Sex on TV.” He said, “Now that cable is all over the place it’s no big deal
anymore.”
When my wife and I separated, we went to court for custody of the dog. I said, “Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married.” The judge said, “The courtroom isn’t a confessional. Stick to the case, please.” Then I told him that after I was married, Sex left me. He said, “Me too”.
Last night
Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for him. A cop came over
to me and asked, “What are you doing in this alley at 4 o’clock in the
morning?” I told him I was looking for Sex. My case comes up Friday!
This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody. There was an Important Job that needed to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it but Nobody did. Somebody got angry because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Somebody wouldn't do it. And so it was written that Everybody blamed Somebody because Nobody did what Anybody could have done!
Did You Get That?
